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Remove Sorrow from Relationships

For a majority of us, it is our relationships that bring us the most joy and most sorrow. However, when we are in a relationship, whether it may be parents, siblings, spouse or friends, it is confined to the level of the mind and the body. Even though we express the word love, it is through a body-conscious level. And this is the true cause of many of the relationship problems.

Parents often say that they love their children un-conditionally, but how often have we noticed that when a child acts against the parents wishes (maybe for their own happiness), the parents disown them. This causes a tremendous amount of sorrow to the child who always believed that his/her parents would support them all the way, and the parent who thought that their children would always follow their guidance feels a similar sorrow. The parents always have the child’s best interest in mind, and do not want the child to get hurt. But true unconditional love would allow the child to choose his own path, no matter how ridiculous it seems, knowing the fact that the child will learn through its positive and negative experiences.

Parents must understand that they have brought their children to this earth, but they do not OWN them. Each soul has come with its purpose of learning through experience, and if a point comes when the parents block the experience of the child, naturally the child will break-free. It is because the parent and child are so connected on the body-mind level, they are unable to accept this situation. If parents simply realize, that their main purpose of bringing the child to the earth is to care for him/her for a certain amount of years, it will be easier to accept that the child is an entity by itself with its own journey of self-discovery. The challenge is to let go of this sense of “ownership”, and realize that the parents are simply the delivery company. Imagine if FedEx starts taking ownership for every package it delivers, don’t you think there would be a serious problem? Or, if every tree behaves as though it owns the fruit, would we have anything to eat?

A similar issue occurs in marriages – the sense of ownership. By all means, it is important to be committed and faithful in relationships, but it is also imperative to realize that each person in the relationship is also on their own journey of self-discovery. By accepting and allowing that person to grow in his/her own manner, instead of molding him/her in our own ways will reduce much of the sorrow.

Furthermore, the over-exaggeration of the concepts of soul mates also causes a lot of trouble, once again because we see soul mates from the body/mind consciousness. During the early stages of marriages, we often hear the phrases “I found my soul mate”, “you complete me”, “you are my better-half”, etc.  A few months later, we hear that the couple that at one point had “completed” each other, have divorced.

The fact is that the soul is “complete” by itself. This is why it is born alone, and dies alone.  The soul is basically a seed, and every one that has a relationship with that soul is simply nourishing it by offering so called “sunshine” and “rain” for it to grow. However, from a body/mind-consciousness perspective, we try to mold that seed into the type of flower we would like to live with. And this goes against the nature of the flower. Every flower in the garden is different because each seed is unique. The only place we see flowers that are exactly the same, is in a controlled environment.

To prevent the dis-belief of the fact that the person who we once thought was our soul mate, no longer “completes” us, we must realize that we are already complete. We do not need anyone to complete us. The body and mind may need a mate, but the soul does not. It is simply because the mind and body feel incomplete, that the individual thinks that the soul is incomplete and needs a mate.  

Each soul is a complete seed within itself. All it needs is water and sunshine to blossom to it’s full potential. Let us try not to mold each soul in a manner that best suits us. Education and society have been molding human beings in a manner to suit their self-interests, and this is why, today many individuals cannot fully express themselves, and have forgotten who they truly are.


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Overcome Depression Instantly

This morning, when I heard that Robin Williams had committed suicide, I wasn’t particularly surprised or shocked. I was aware that he was combating depression for many years. Unfortunately, this time it seemed to have become too severe for him to recover. We send prayers to him and his family during this difficult time

Depression has become extremely common recently due to the levels of stress and lack of spirituality within individuals. This has driven people to attempt suicide because either they do not have the outside support of friends, family, doctors, or the inner strength and wisdom to gain clarity about their situation. Since the past 45 years people have become more depressed and the suicide rate has increased 60%. In the world, on average one person dies by suicide every 40 seconds.

I can understand what it feels like to be extremely depressed to the point of suicide because I have experienced it when I had lost partial vision.

There are several techniques to overcome depression, however I would only like to share one for now.

The reason many people become depressed is because they are too identified with their situation. This means that they are unable to separate themselves from their circumstances. They fail to realize that they are NOT their thoughts, emotions, imagination, mind or their bodies. They are completely immersed in how they feel. A simple change in perspective can resolve this. If they continuously remind themselves that “I am not depressed, I am only FEELING depressed. I am NOT my thoughts, emotions, imagination, mind, or body”. This will raise the person’s awareness and detach them from the feeling of depression. The person will start to experience his/her mind/body as the observer. And this is the first step to transformation.

In addition to the change in perspective, expressing the attitude of gratitude is extremely powerful, and is an instant cure for depression. No matter how depressed a person is, he/she can always make a list of how much worse life can really be, and how much better it can be. By changing the focus from the negative to the positive we will realize how lucky and blessed we actually are.

Consider the fact that out of all the people that go to bed tonight, over 100 thousand people will not wake up tomorrow. And out of everyone that goes to bed tonight over a million people will have lost a loved one. Isn’t it absolutely amazing and aren’t you truly blessed that you woke up this morning, and all your loved ones did too?

Change in perspective and gratitude are the initial steps to overcome early depression, and this is simply a change in mindset. It is crucial to develop your inner strength early in life; so that if for any reason, if you or a loved one falls into depression, you may help them overcome it as quickly as possible.

• Click here to experience a powerful Bliss with Sai Life Coaching session. Most popular themes are: mental clarity, thought management, mindfulness, meditation, time management, and spirituality. 


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